Saturday, June 23, 2012

I FORGOT I HAVE A BLOG!

After graduating with a degree in film, this dork realized he needed to work on something constructive with his time. I decided, "Hey! I have a blog! I mean, its not a great blog -- mediocre at best -- but a blog nonetheless! I'll waste my time on that!". So, after almost six months, I've returned to Everything is Bonkers! So, what other way to celebrate my triumphant return than writing a list of things you absolutely don't give a flying shit about! I proudly present:

TEN THINGS I'VE BEEN DOING WITH MY LIFE IN THE LAST SIX MONTHS!

10) Watching YouTube Videos of Fat People Falling

I won't lie, being a recently graduated film student is pitiful. I don't have a job in my field, I'm always broke, and I can't enjoy a movie anymore without psychoanalyzing it and/or commenting on its phallic imagery (Thanks, professor Benshoff)...  So, what better way to make myself less pitiful than watching obese folks face SPLATTING to a concrete surface or falling off a bicycle (or breaking a bicycle in that matter).


9) Making a Short Film

After spending most of my final semester writing an abysmal short film, I found an opportunity to direct a short horror film I co-wrote for my video production course. We only had a week for pre-production and three days to shoot it. Well, me and my classmates managed to finish our short and the film is now in the editing phase of post production.


8) Writing a College TV Show

Chris "Chachie" Hood and I worked together writing, producing and shooting WICKED CINEMA, a tv show about an alcoholic hosting the worst of the worse public domain horror movies of all time.


7) Wonder What Will Happen In The Next Ten Years

I'm hoping for this!
Sleep well, planet Earth. Sleep... Well...

6) Hope For Something Good To Happen

Like... Finally turning into George Clooney and getting:

$$TONS OF MONEY$$


And...
TONS OF "SOON TO BE" BIKINI SUPERMODEL EX-GIRLFRIENDS!
Sleep well, Clooney. Sleep... Well...

5) Listening To The New M83 Album

I love this band. Their last album, SATURDAYS=YOUTH was arguably one of the best electro pastiche albums in the last six years, if not, of all time! Their latest endeavor into shoegaze/electro eighties territory is called --


-- and I have been listening to it from start to finish. I've must have listened to the track "Reunion" at least a two hundred times by now... Wait... Let me verify that play count on my I-Tunes...
....

Dammit, I-tunes! Load my fucking music already!
....

Scratch that -- two hundred and one!

4)Working On a Comic Book

I recently finished a comic book script called THE MARK, about a female crime-fighter who's identity has been compromised to the public by unknown forces. Now, everyone from corrupt police, corrupt politicians and old villains are after her.  Think THE BOURNE IDENTITY meets THE DARK KNIGHT without the groggy camerawork and  the intimidating raspy voice.

I'm in the process of illustrating it myself, but I'm looking an ink artist and a colorist.

Artwork will be posted soon -- stay tuned!

3)Work

Ughhh... Forty hours a week, making barely minimum wage stocking dog food is not what I envisioned doing after school.

Oh well, at least I'm not like this dude.
You people know I'm referring to the security guard, right? I heard they make terrible pay. Oh well... At least he's not a guilty pedophile!


2) Cooking

I'll be honest. I'm a lazy fuck when it comes to cooking. Instead of taking the time to cook a nice piece of sirloin steak or spaghetti, I've been hitting the fat-lane with people like Jack and Wendy.
Well, after starting my full time job at Kroger, I took it upon myself to change my eating habits. So now instead of wasting gas and spending money on bad food, I've been spending my nights at home, cooking shit like sirloin steaks and spaghetti.

You all must think I'm a fatty McFat. DON'T JUDGE ME!

1)Don't Fear The Night Hare

When I'm not wallowing in self pity and watching all ten seasons of STARGATE SG-1 (I miss that show and ATLANTIS. SGU? Not so much) I've been sitting down typing my spec screenplay. Its called Don't Fear The Night Hare. A horror-comedy about a cartoon killer hare who's manifested into the real world and begins to wreck murder and havoc. Its a labor of love that I've been meticulously revising for the past two years. But, in the past six months, I've been really really meticulously revising it for screenplay contests.

Someday... Someday, soon...