Friday, July 29, 2011

Barber Goes Off On One Of His Workers For Selling Drugs In His Barbershop.

GATOR DON'T PLAY!

Cowboys & Aliens ----My After Thoughts----

I just got back from a midnight screening of Jon Favreau's COWBOYS & ALIENS. All in all, the film was pretty good. If I had to describe the film I would say its kinda like 3:10 to Yuma, but with aliens.

The film starts off with Daniel Craig's character waking up in the middle of nowhere with a thick metal bracelet attached to his arm. Okay, do I really need to explain this part? Alright, so, I thought the movie blended the sci-fi and western genres very well. You get your taste of everything. Cool special effects, good old fashion western brawls, shoot outs, and some pretty scary aliens. Jon Favreau polished this baby up! The blood factor was also pretty high even for a PG-13 movie. Yes, even more than Captain America.

Daniel Craig played it cool as the main protagonist. Dude didn't take shit from anyone in this movie! Olivia Wilde played the hot female protagonist again. No complaints there. Harrison Ford played Harrison Ford in a western ha ha. The dude was more grumpy and hard faced than ever! Sam Rockwell and Adam Beach were exceptional in their sort of layered roles. And don't blink! Or else you'll miss Clancy Brown in the movie.

So, do I have any gripes? Um, I pretty much forgot them all when I took a major piss after the movie. Free refills!

Is this movie worth seeing? I reckon so! What else are you gonna watch this week!

Is there anything after the credits? Nada.

Does anyone in the movie ever say howdy? Holy shit! That's a good question!

FUNNY MOMENT DURING THE PREVIEWS: The new BATTLESHIP trailer popped up during the previews. Some guy in the audience exclaimed out loud, "You gotta be shitting me!" right after the trailer was over . Ha ha, black people...

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Random Facebook Chat #1 (With Hugo Ramos)

Prologue: Last month, I sold my I-pod to make rent. So, I was without music for about a few weeks. It sucked donkey balls that I couldn't listen to my 'Music for a dying atheist" mix from my I-tunes playlist while walking to work in the blistering heat. Anyway, my good friend and film colleague Hugo Ramos (Sexy motherfucker!) had lend me his brothers I-pod which has a broken screen but you can still hear music. Here's our little Facebook chat we had on July 7th and I thought I share it with everyone.

Adrian Sanchez
I felt naked without my iPod...

Hugo
I know what you mean.

Adrian
btw thanks for the shorts
   
Hugo Ramos
The what?
   
Adrian Sanchez
the ipod haha
get it?
heh
Hehhh
ugh
   
Hugo Ramos
barf.
       
Adrian Sanchez
You dont get it?
       
Hugo Ramos
No.
      
Adrian Sanchez
You dont get it!?
ugh!
damnit hugo!
       
Hugo Ramos
*dammit
   
Adrian Sanchez
I said, I feel naked without my ipod.
You gave me eddies ipod!
Do you get it now?
"btw thanks for the shorts!"
hehhhh
hehhhhhh
ugh
...
Dammit...
   
Hugo Ramos
...
Nigga, those are pants!
Shorts would be a CD player.
   
Adrian Sanchez
....
No, the shorts would be the iPod!
the cd player is more like underwear...
   
Hugo Ramos
Hahaha.
  
Adrian Sanchez
ha!


Epilogue: Hugo Ramos would later choke to death on a ham sandwich.

Iron Maiden - The Trooper in the harp

Dude haz sum madz harping skillz! (Dude has some mad harping skills, for all you grammar Nazis out there)
)

Real-Life Superhero Stops Car Robbery

Yes!

Monday, July 25, 2011

Top Ten Most AWESOME Movie Teaser/Trailers (Part 2 of 2)

5) Watchmen Teaser Trailer


When was the last time you sat in a theater and every fan geek clapped and cheered in unison to a movie trailer?  Zack Snyder may have failed in shooting a perfect adaptation of the famous graphic novel, but you can't argue at the comic book-ish imagery of the trailer.

4) The Matrix


The first thing that came out of my mouth after I watched this teaser was:

"Oh, cool" .

3) The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy Teaser Trailer


"One ring to rule them all!"

Nuff said.

2) Terminator II: Judgment Day


I was barely eight when I first watched James Camerons THE TERMINATOR. My older brother use to record movies on VHS from the television. BLOODSPORT, GHOSTBUSTERS, ROBOCOP, THE BURBS, you name it, he recorded it! Vhs defined my childhood!.  Anyway, The Terminator left a lasting impression on myself. So, you can imagine my fanboy joy when I first watched the teaser to the sequel. I must have watched this movie at least 4-5 times in the theater.

1) Dark City


Alex Proyas 1950's futuristic/goth expressionist imagery and Hughes Hall's ambient/industrial music track are mixed together to create arguably one of the best trailers of all time! The point of a movie teaser/trailer is to grab the audience attention. Dark City did just that, and even though the film did poorly at the box office, it has remained an important cult classic to fan boys and film aficionados alike.

HONORABLE MENTION:

Mortal Kombat Trailer


This is one of the best video game to movie adaptations of all time... I know, that's not saying much but just skip to the :58 mark of the video and you'll understand.


UPDATED: July 27th, 2011. 8:57 AM

Friday, July 22, 2011

8 Month Old Deaf Baby Hears Mother For The First Time.

What a wonderful and modern world we live in!

Captain America: The First Avenger ----MY AFTER THOUGHTS----

I just got back from the theater. Its 2:50 AM and I should be in bed, dreaming about dinosaurs and Ramona Flowers. Mostly dinosaurs. I once had this dream, there was this T-Rex right, and the fucker is wearing a soviet uniform and firing a ray gun -Anyway, here are my after thoughts on Joe Johnston's CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER!

DON'T WORRY. NO SPOILERS AHEAD!

First and foremost, I had a lot of fun with this movie. I dug the whole 1940's 'futura' style of the film and its anti-quick cutting style of action. The film was well shot and the action well choreographed. Director Joe Johnston allowed the viewer to see what is going on in the action. The production art in the movie is simply astounding. Seriously, indulge in the visuals folks!

Chris Evans was great as the charismatic superhero and he brought a nice subtle charm to the character. I think he was a wise choice to play the CAP. I also dug Tommy Lee Jones as the dead serious and straight forward Colonel Phillips. The dude cracked me up throughout the whole movie. Hayley Atwell was great as Peggy Carter. I think she is one of the better female love interests in the marvel film universe. Sorry Natalie. Hugo Weaving had fun as the villainous Red Skull and his accent was just hysterical, but in a good way.

What else am I missing? I'm blank, oh well!

So, time to answer some important questions:

Was this movie better than Thor? Yes.

Was this movie better than Iron Man? No. But its up there!

Is this movie worth seeing? Yes. Fuck the elitist critics!

Is there something at the end of the credits? Yes! It is marvel, numb-nuts!

Minor gripes: Douche baggy college kids in the audience. Your riff tracking is not funny and all of you are the reason why the terrorists hate us!

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Top Ten Most AWESOME Movie Teaser/Trailers (Part 1 of 2)

Sure, some of these movies are not the best pieces of cinema to ever grace the silver screen but you can't deny their awesome trailers.

10)Pearl Harbor



Mix in Hans Zimmer's "Journey to the line" , and Franklin Roosevelt's famous declaration of war speech, and you have yourself one kick ass war teaser. It's too bad the movie sucked balls.

9)Godzilla (1998)

















Teaser:
From the creators of Independence day!
GODZILLA!
Cue iconic roar.

"Yay!"

Fast track to memorial day, 1998.

"Godzilla is A-sexual?"
"Godzilla doesn't run from helicopters!"
"Where the fuck is Mothra!"

8)Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace

"Double bladed light saber!"
"Alien reptillian comic relief!"
"Yoda!!!"

One year later...

"Nah, it was alright".
 
7)Spider Man Twin Towers Teaser









 






I remember sitting in the theater and waiting for FINAL FANTASY: The, um... um... Yeah, whatever, the only reason why I was there was to watch the first teaser to Marvel comics favorite web slinger! I was lucky enough to see it before it was yanked out of the film print by Sony because a bunch of jackasses wanted their 1000 virgins early...

6)The Crow
















I remember watching this trailer after Brandon Lee's death. I'll let the imagery speak for itself.

UPDATED: July 25th, 2011, 7:07 PM.

Chain Assault (Depeche Mode / Massive Attack / John Carpenter)

LeeDM101 - Chain Assault (Depeche Mode / Massive Attack / John Carpenter) by LeeDM101